The Real History of Mother’s Day and Why It Still Hurts

By Kathy Baldwin, Host of “Unlearn the Crap & Level UP: Your Soul is Calling”

Mother’s Day never looked like the Hallmark commercials.
And for the first time in my life, I stopped pretending it did.

For years, I performed the ritual—brunches, cards, floral arrangements—honoring my mother and her mother, while quietly wondering: When is it my turn?
When do I get to be seen, celebrated, and honored… not just as a mother, but as a woman with needs, grief, and desires of her own?

This year, I did something different. I unplugged from the illusion—and I reclaimed something sacred.

🌹 The Truth Behind Mother’s Day

Before the flowers and pancakes, Mother’s Day was a protest.
In the 1850s, Ann Reeves Jarvis started Mothers’ Work Clubs in West Virginia to help women care for their families in the aftermath of war. After the Civil War, these clubs united mothers from both the Union and Confederacy to promote healing and peace.

By 1870, activist and poet Julia Ward Howe (who wrote The Battle Hymn of the Republic) issued a Mother’s Day Proclamation for Peace, declaring:

“Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been taught of charity, mercy, and patience.”

She envisioned a global gathering of women demanding diplomacy over destruction.

In 1908, Anna Jarvis held the first official Mother’s Day to honor her late mother’s humanitarian work and by 1914, President Woodrow Wilson had signed it into a national holiday.

But the woman who fought for its recognition would later condemn the commercialization. Anna Jarvis sued to stop florists, candy companies, and greeting card corporations from turning a sacred call to action into a sales opportunity. She died alone, penniless, and heartbroken.

🤍 Why It Still Hurts Today

I used to wonder why Mother’s Day made me feel so unseen. I’d given everything. I had raised children while holding a family together through crisis. I was the planner, the peacekeeper, the one who made sure everyone else felt celebrated.

And yet I felt invisible.

It wasn’t until I unplugged from the performance that I saw the pattern:
Motherhood had become synonymous with martyrdom.
But that’s not the legacy I want to pass down.

🌿 This Year, I Reclaimed It

This year, I didn’t wait to be celebrated.
I hiked alone along a forest river. I watched butterflies emerge. I moved my body to release stress.
I bought myself miniature roses.
I baked an Italian almond ricotta cake.
I wrote a letter to my children that I never sent.

And I stopped rejecting myself.

As I reflected, I listened to a raw podcast by Mel Robbins and remembered a practice from Brené Brown and her husband: sharing emotional capacity at the end of each day. If one is at 60%, the other shows up with 40%. Together, they make 100%.

What if mothers weren’t expected to always carry the 100%?
What if we stopped assigning value based on sacrifice?

💥 From Martyrdom to Mothering Ourselves

This year, I finally understood:
Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about honesty.
It’s okay to say, “I wanted to, but I didn’t have it to give.”
It’s okay to stop waiting for someone else to celebrate you.

And it’s more than okay to give yourself what you need.

We rise when we stop lowering ourselves.

✨ A New Legacy

Mother’s Day was never meant to be a marketing campaign.
It was meant to be a movement.

And we can bring that back—by mothering ourselves, honoring our truth, and unlearning the crap that tells us we must be perfect, selfless, and silent.

So let me ask you:

What would change if you gave yourself the grace you extend to everyone else?

🎧 Listen to the full podcast episode:

👉 Mother’s Day Unplugged: Breaking the Myth & Reclaiming Our Worth

📚 Explore the books on Amazon or your local bookstore:

• Unlearn the Crap & Level UP: Your Soul is Calling

• How I Unlearned MY Crap

🌐 Visit kathybaldwin.me for more tools, episodes, and soul-healing inspiration.

🌀 Let’s make this the year we stop waiting—and start honoring.